So I'm sitting in my Creative Writing class right now. The last hour of the day, finally. I just want to go home and spend time with my family and my Sean. But you can always what you want. After I leave here I have to head straight to work at Vulcan. I don't want to see my dad. I want to see my mama and my Madisyn and of course my Paigey Poo.

But anyway I'm supposed to be writing a short story about anything of my choice but I can't come up with anything that is interesting enough to write about. Leave me ideas and thoughts of what you think i should write about and maybe I shall write about it. Please please tell me what you think.



Love. Love. Love. <3

You don't know my situation.
You have no idea what I have been through in my past or what I'm going through right now.
I hate that fact that you're so ignorant.
You have no understanding for things more important than this one little thing that's not important to anyone but you.
I hate that you don't care.
I hate that you won't listen.
I hate that you won't just try to understand.
I wish I could make my problems go away so I could fix yours but I can't.
I have to do what I can to deal with what I've been dealt.
I honestly don't give a flying fuck if you don't believe what I'm saying to be true or not. You can suck my dick.
You are so heartless.
You make me feel like shit even when I'm not in the wrong.
I will continue to do what's right for myself and my family.
I can't help that my mom is low on money and my dad doesn't give a shit.
Honestly, I'm done with this.

I miss you though, a lot.

This weekend was pretty nice. :)

On Friday I went to the big game in Logan. In the car we had Sean, Johnny, Sam, Taylor B, and myself. The ride there was pretty sweet.
I saw everyone I haven't seen in forever. Jon, Daysha, Trent, Max, Tim W, Nicole, Haley, Taby, and Steph. I swear I was destined to be there so I could see all my amazing friends that I hadn't seen on ages. Then after the game James came over and Sean and Il fell asleep in the living room. Ha! When I woke up James was right in my face. It scared the shit out of me but he woke me up to say goodbye.

On Saturday Sean and I went to his aunt Tema's place where I played with Hayli and met a new friend, Joey. Who is Sean's uncle person thing who is a roomate of Tema's. We cooked six packages of ramen noodles and ate them all. And we watched a bunch of good movies. The Mod Squad, Never Back Down, The Craft, and Rent. I cried my eyes out during Rent. It was the first time I'd ever seen it and now I'm in love with it. Joey is a pretty nice guy I was glad to meet him since I'd heard so much about him from Sean.

Today Sean and I were pretty much lazy and laid I'm bed all day. We went out for ice cream and cleaned out his car. When it came time to say our goodbyes I didn't want to let go. I never do. Even though there is only five days between each weekend we spend together I still miss him already. When he left I lounged around the house and had an awesomely amazing conversation with Joey via text message. He is a nice guy and I think he'll be a great friend to me. He told me if I ever needed anything day or night all I had to do was call or text and he'd be there. He's a pretty cool guy and a great dad and I'm very glad to have met him. :)

Oh and due to that fucking football game I got my lovely sinuses all sorts of fucked up. :(

But it was still great.

I'm laying in bead at the moment and my head hurts like a bitch.
What's the deal? Oh man this is the worst I've had in a long time.

Anyway, tomorrow is Friday! Finally.
There's a big football game in Logan tomorrow I'm gonna go.
Hopefully Sean and Johnny are going too.

Not much went on today.
Tomorrow is new.

:)

This was a real good birthday. Off to be with James tomorrow!

I'm so depressed.
I want school to end so I can hide from everyone.

I went to graduation and I can't lie I'm really sad.
I'm not really friends with any of them except Jon.
I'm really gonna miss him coming over and hanging out all the time.
And his piggy back rides and his hugs.


Sean and I are falling apart. What once was flawless has a bunch of holes in it.
I hate it I hate it I hate it.
This feeling is terrible.




The end.

"It's gonna take a little time to show you just what you mean to me. You're everything to me..."

fuck i wish he could see it.

i love him so much it hurts...


i'm fucking out.

"Tonight I can dream away and you can still be mine. But I'm dreaming a lie and it makes my wanna die. Cuz I still love you..."


I feel it slipping away and I'm holding on as tight as I can.
This scares the shit out of me.

I'm thinking that the times are going to be changing again. I don't know why but I just know in the pit of my stomach that it's all going to be changing. I hate big changes. They scare the hell out of me. So I'm going to hold on to what I've got right now by making a scrap book. I've never done anything like this before but I think that it would be nice knowing that all I have to do is open a book to recover all the times that I lost.

So, I ask, does anyone have any ideas or tips on making a scrap book for me to use?
I would greatly appreciate the advice. :)

One question?


Tell me what song this is and who sings it!



"How rad is it living in a microscope? Broadcast in every single living room."



I'll give you a hint. I've seen them in concert twice. With Aubrey both times.




I doubt anyone what Aubrey will know.



HAHAHAHAHAHA!

I really should get better at updating. D:

I'm just so busy.
What's been happening?
I still work at Vulcan. D:
I'm still with the best person in the world, Sean, and we're going strong.
I made it to state with my speech about zombies.
I got a part in Aubrey's play.
I saw Slipknot in concert.
I grew a whole inch.
I've lost weight.
Annnnd, I keep getting sick.


I miss being able to sit down and spill my guts to livejournal.

I'm going to get better at this once I'm well and things are better.
I promise.

<3

I am awake.

For awhile there I was dead to the world. I don't know why but I just didn't want to be social or anything at all. I just needed some time with myself and the one that loves me. That's all. I got that time and though this last month has been rough that time has granted me the ability to see through it all.

I was doing everything from crying because I didn't want to go home, to laughing my ass off because Sean's being silly. I don't know how he does it but he always finds a way to convince me that it will be okay to go home and be without him because I'm never actually without him. I love it. I love him.

So, there was Christmas, I got a Wii, games, books, tie dyed blankey, KISS light switch cover etc. I was so happy to get all the great gifts I got and I'm thankful that we could be a loving family for a day. Then there was new year's, I got to spend time with Paige and Sean which was just what I needed. They're the ones closest to my heart and I needed that.

And other than that things have been normal. Sorry I'm such a crappy Lj friend. But I've been antisocial lately. I'll try to get back into the swing of things.


Love you guys.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Sorry, I have been such a crappy lj friend lately.

Things at home are tough. With the holidays around the corner and our money issue. I don't think we are even going to have a tree this year. It's scaring me because I thought all the changes were done but this is a major change. It's going to be so different without being with dad and putting up the tree and all that...


Today was great though. I went to Adam's parents house and then to Sean's gramas and my day will end with falling asleep in Sean's arms. What more could I ask for?


I'm so happy at the moment.


How are you all doing?

my mother is insane.


i'm not here at the moment.
i'll post when i am.

Dear Josh,

Leave me alone! Please realize that when I made the decision to leave you it wasn't because I was trying to be a horrible person and make you miserable. I did it because I wasn't happy at all and I had already fallen in love with my Sean. You saying you love me now won't make up for all the things that you/you're friends have said to me. I'm sick of you're stupid threats. I'm sick of trying to be your friend. I'm sick of telling the same story over and over again. I'm sick of being blamed for the mistakes that YOU make. I'm just sick of YOU. I've already told you once to stay out of my life and quit harassing me. I'm not going to say it again. Get over it. It happened almost a year ago. Get over the fact that I'm friends with Richard and always will be and that I'm in love with Sean and always will be. I don't love you and I never did. I'm done wasting my life on you.

-Lexi


If you can't tell Josh has entered my life again and I have to escort him out. Oh, I'm sick to. Which is just great. With Halloween Friday I just had to go and get sick. Damn.

And yes I have decided that Sean and I will be together for always. Haha. This makes me happy.

I've decided that I actually hate someone. I'm not just saying this. I truly hate him. Josh. Stupid name for a stupid person. I hate him for all he's done, put me through, and said about me. It's been almost a year since I dumped him and he needs to get over his damn self. I don't like being the blame for him being an alcoholic. That isn't my fault. It was his choice to start drinking. Not mine. I just want to forget about him and not have to worry about him popping up every now and again. I just want to be left alone. That asshole thinks he's so big and bad hiding behind his friends. What a loser. I received this message:

Your friend Sean looks likea fucking homo...hes like 12....

Him and richard likeit up the ass ehh.... well when he grows some fucking balls tell him he shouldnt fuck with his friends and take the one thing that made him fucking sane..

I dont know any of you but what i have heard is really fucked up... and i ever see ither of them its going to be MMA there in IOWA...


You know i heard you once showed up at maliko's door and went to his room to wake him up..

Do you not realize that some one like him is worth alot more then your lil gay ass sean kid.. if what i have heard is true i mean come on... you of all ppl should know maliko best...

Im not going to talk shit to you but i want you to know what you did was fucked up.. Friends and Fags dont decide who you date... now if you had a problem with maliko and wanted him out of your life.. you should talk to him about it explain it.. its been quite i long time i hear.. but just up and leaeving is the right thing to do...

i have had the love of my life riped from my hands more then one occasion... never to another guy but to her friends and family.. im 18 shes 15... whats the big deal there... we both love eachother and to be honest... there is no lust involved shes a virgin.. and ive been with her since she was in 7th grade. me a freshmen or soophmore w/e... but

From what maliko has told me you two were in love.. and then your friends and two faggots presured you into falling for fag number one...

You should talk to maliko and explain why your still with fag number one... Explain to him why you dont want to be with him any more.. Why your in love with fag number one. Dont leave him hanging like this.. He says every time he gets close to forgetting you. You pop up in hismind... dont hold him captive of you rmemory ... give him the closer he needs.



.. Oh and sean if you read this FUCK YOU YOU HOMOTESTICAL.. you and richard can go suck each other off you dumb pieces of shit... You deserve to rot in hell both of you for fucking over a friend of yours.... and you there with them for leaveing some one who loves you.
..



AND JUST SO EVERYONE KNOWS SEAN IS NOT A FAG! I hate that shit. When people say that about him.


Done.