Log in

No account? Create an account
uhm, lex?
08 May 2009 @ 05:11 pm
"Tonight I can dream away and you can still be mine. But I'm dreaming a lie and it makes my wanna die. Cuz I still love you..."

I feel it slipping away and I'm holding on as tight as I can.
This scares the shit out of me.
Current Mood: coldcold
Current Music: I Still Love You by Kiss
uhm, lex?
25 March 2009 @ 03:12 pm
I've been a busy person lately. :]
I like the busyness of my life right now. It keeps me occupied.


Its scary to say, but I miss my old self. Not the way I acted but the way I looked. I looked so badass it isn't even funny. I'm still a badass but I don't look like one. I look like every other girl with long blonde hair. I want to change myself again. I hate being the same person all the time. I have never worried about how I look but I do know. I want to be unique and beautiful at the same time but anymore I'm afraid to. Whatever.


I hate being categorized as a dumb blonde. I fucking hate that.
Anyway, school is great! I finally have and A in Biology. HELLZ YES! I win at life. I'm feeling in an 'updatey' mood. So I'm going to give you a long update. :]

I'm still with my boy. <3 I fucking love him so much. Its been the best year and four months of my life. Love you,babe.

I took a trip to Ames, Iowa with Aubrey and Sean for state speech. It was way to much fun. Sean stole pop from pop machines and we slept together on the gym floor. I ended up getting straight two's. I was so disappointed in myself. :/

But to make it better we went to Carrol. AND MET TAYLOR G!!!!!

I went to the zoom with Aubrey, Jaz, and Payton. It was a great time. I don't think I've ever had that much fun at the zoo. We frightened animals and children. It was great. We got lost a few times but made it home safely. And Aubrey bought me a journal made out of recycled elephant poop. Its pretty rad.

And this is the end because I can't think of anything else to tell you. Love you guys. <3
Current Mood: geekygeeky
uhm, lex?
22 March 2009 @ 06:32 pm
I'm thinking that the times are going to be changing again. I don't know why but I just know in the pit of my stomach that it's all going to be changing. I hate big changes. They scare the hell out of me. So I'm going to hold on to what I've got right now by making a scrap book. I've never done anything like this before but I think that it would be nice knowing that all I have to do is open a book to recover all the times that I lost.

So, I ask, does anyone have any ideas or tips on making a scrap book for me to use?
I would greatly appreciate the advice. :)
Current Mood: calmcalm
uhm, lex?
18 March 2009 @ 07:26 pm
One question?

Tell me what song this is and who sings it!

"How rad is it living in a microscope? Broadcast in every single living room."

I'll give you a hint. I've seen them in concert twice. With Aubrey both times.

I doubt anyone what Aubrey will know.

Current Mood: creativecreative
uhm, lex?
06 March 2009 @ 01:07 pm
I really should get better at updating. D:

I'm just so busy.
What's been happening?
I still work at Vulcan. D:
I'm still with the best person in the world, Sean, and we're going strong.
I made it to state with my speech about zombies.
I got a part in Aubrey's play.
I saw Slipknot in concert.
I grew a whole inch.
I've lost weight.
Annnnd, I keep getting sick.

I miss being able to sit down and spill my guts to livejournal.

I'm going to get better at this once I'm well and things are better.
I promise.

Current Mood: sicksick
Current Music: Agenda Suicide by The Faint
uhm, lex?
05 January 2009 @ 04:32 pm
I am awake.

For awhile there I was dead to the world. I don't know why but I just didn't want to be social or anything at all. I just needed some time with myself and the one that loves me. That's all. I got that time and though this last month has been rough that time has granted me the ability to see through it all.

I was doing everything from crying because I didn't want to go home, to laughing my ass off because Sean's being silly. I don't know how he does it but he always finds a way to convince me that it will be okay to go home and be without him because I'm never actually without him. I love it. I love him.

So, there was Christmas, I got a Wii, games, books, tie dyed blankey, KISS light switch cover etc. I was so happy to get all the great gifts I got and I'm thankful that we could be a loving family for a day. Then there was new year's, I got to spend time with Paige and Sean which was just what I needed. They're the ones closest to my heart and I needed that.

And other than that things have been normal. Sorry I'm such a crappy Lj friend. But I've been antisocial lately. I'll try to get back into the swing of things.

Love you guys.
Tags: , ,
Current Mood: calmcalm
uhm, lex?
28 November 2008 @ 02:16 am
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Sorry, I have been such a crappy lj friend lately.

Things at home are tough. With the holidays around the corner and our money issue. I don't think we are even going to have a tree this year. It's scaring me because I thought all the changes were done but this is a major change. It's going to be so different without being with dad and putting up the tree and all that...

Today was great though. I went to Adam's parents house and then to Sean's gramas and my day will end with falling asleep in Sean's arms. What more could I ask for?

I'm so happy at the moment.

How are you all doing?
Tags: , ,
Current Mood: calmcalm
uhm, lex?
17 November 2008 @ 07:37 am
my mother is insane.

i'm not here at the moment.
i'll post when i am.
uhm, lex?
29 October 2008 @ 05:25 pm
Dear Josh,

Leave me alone! Please realize that when I made the decision to leave you it wasn't because I was trying to be a horrible person and make you miserable. I did it because I wasn't happy at all and I had already fallen in love with my Sean. You saying you love me now won't make up for all the things that you/you're friends have said to me. I'm sick of you're stupid threats. I'm sick of trying to be your friend. I'm sick of telling the same story over and over again. I'm sick of being blamed for the mistakes that YOU make. I'm just sick of YOU. I've already told you once to stay out of my life and quit harassing me. I'm not going to say it again. Get over it. It happened almost a year ago. Get over the fact that I'm friends with Richard and always will be and that I'm in love with Sean and always will be. I don't love you and I never did. I'm done wasting my life on you.


If you can't tell Josh has entered my life again and I have to escort him out. Oh, I'm sick to. Which is just great. With Halloween Friday I just had to go and get sick. Damn.

And yes I have decided that Sean and I will be together for always. Haha. This makes me happy.
Current Mood: calmcalm
uhm, lex?
15 October 2008 @ 04:47 pm
I've decided that I actually hate someone. I'm not just saying this. I truly hate him. Josh. Stupid name for a stupid person. I hate him for all he's done, put me through, and said about me. It's been almost a year since I dumped him and he needs to get over his damn self. I don't like being the blame for him being an alcoholic. That isn't my fault. It was his choice to start drinking. Not mine. I just want to forget about him and not have to worry about him popping up every now and again. I just want to be left alone. That asshole thinks he's so big and bad hiding behind his friends. What a loser. I received this message:

Your friend Sean looks likea fucking homo...hes like 12....

Him and richard likeit up the ass ehh.... well when he grows some fucking balls tell him he shouldnt fuck with his friends and take the one thing that made him fucking sane..

I dont know any of you but what i have heard is really fucked up... and i ever see ither of them its going to be MMA there in IOWA...

You know i heard you once showed up at maliko's door and went to his room to wake him up..

Do you not realize that some one like him is worth alot more then your lil gay ass sean kid.. if what i have heard is true i mean come on... you of all ppl should know maliko best...

Im not going to talk shit to you but i want you to know what you did was fucked up.. Friends and Fags dont decide who you date... now if you had a problem with maliko and wanted him out of your life.. you should talk to him about it explain it.. its been quite i long time i hear.. but just up and leaeving is the right thing to do...

i have had the love of my life riped from my hands more then one occasion... never to another guy but to her friends and family.. im 18 shes 15... whats the big deal there... we both love eachother and to be honest... there is no lust involved shes a virgin.. and ive been with her since she was in 7th grade. me a freshmen or soophmore w/e... but

From what maliko has told me you two were in love.. and then your friends and two faggots presured you into falling for fag number one...

You should talk to maliko and explain why your still with fag number one... Explain to him why you dont want to be with him any more.. Why your in love with fag number one. Dont leave him hanging like this.. He says every time he gets close to forgetting you. You pop up in hismind... dont hold him captive of you rmemory ... give him the closer he needs.

.. Oh and sean if you read this FUCK YOU YOU HOMOTESTICAL.. you and richard can go suck each other off you dumb pieces of shit... You deserve to rot in hell both of you for fucking over a friend of yours.... and you there with them for leaveing some one who loves you.

AND JUST SO EVERYONE KNOWS SEAN IS NOT A FAG! I hate that shit. When people say that about him.

Tags: , ,
Current Mood: boredbored